I felt boring because i feel empty. I woke up early in the morning,well i guess 9 is still early right? I mean for SATURDAY. walk out of my room and found out no one is in the house :( I feel so empty,like i dont have anyone. Everyone's busy doing their own activities and left me home alone :P
Back then,last year i dont wake up on my own my mum or dad will wake me up :( Then kat living room macam2 bunyi ada because everyones home but now.. NOBODY'S HOME :(
You will never know how empty i felt. ;/ I feel soo sad and empty. My dad going to golf club to play golf and my sister went to school and will sleep at her friend's house and my mum is at her house doing whatever she wanna and never give me a call. How sad is my life. im fucked up right? And you readers are wasting your fucking time reading my fucking blog about my fucked up life ;) (kalau lah ada yang baca pun kan) Pfft,life's boring. I want everything to be okay. eventhough i know nothings gonna be okay ;) I wish my mum will take my dad back and we all live happily ever after like that stupid fairytale we were told by them when we was little. As we grow up we know that all adult stories ARE LIES. :(
Boredddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd. CANT I JUST DIE? but i dont wanna die in hurtful way. I want to just jump off the cliff and get drown in the water without having difficulity to breathe. :/ Life's hurt mati pun hurt jugak soo.. I wish i had never been born sometimes. couldnt it be easier? Yeah.. I guess soo.
I sound like someone yang ada mental problem lah pulak. But im writing the truth from my heart.
And luckily friends was around like this girl farrah yussinia bt ahmad yusri.
Im going out with her later. Its 6.30 pm now.. I know its not good to go out late but.. its just a way of having fun because there;s nothing to do at home. :(
And i really love my sister. Seriously i dont know why but i feel my love to her is getting stronger day by day. I love you sarah :)
I will take a good care of you. If my sister wasnt around i will feel damn bored because takd sape nak gaduh ngan aku :) i love youuuuuuuuu. sumpah!!!!!!! Sumpah aku tak tipu.
Nananananann~~~~~~~ Boringggg nak tunggu pukul 8 my mum will pick me and fania up and will sent us somewhereeee blahbalahlablahhh. Bosan bangang.
And love,
i dun know whether what i said last night makes you feel like anything. But i just want some space. You know im not like those people yang dah get together and like nak cakap pasal love everyday, NO NO NO. not me. I feel like geli sometimes. Its better if we buat macam bestfriends :)
But i still love you though <3 :D
gtg now.
bye toodles. :)
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Im a looser in love
Harini aku tak pergi sekolah and dah 3 kali aku update blog. I dont know why. Maybe aku akan active blogging balik kot.
HMM,sesuatu berlaku malam ni.
His friend texted me. See. Tiba2 je. Dah lama tetibe text pulak. I dont know lah ape plan diorang ni pulak. And your friend is doing the same old stuff -__- TALKING ABOUT YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL I FEEL LIKE WANNA PUKE. :P
dahlah tu,i dont want to hear anything bout you la. I think so. Aku rasa mcam hilang and empty dont know why. sounds like jiwang lah pulak. Tapi seriously. Dulu aku mcam happy kalau kau text even kawan kau text aku bgtahu pasal kau pun aku happy -__-
PFFT,but now. Its been 2 weeks kita dah tak text and aku rasa macam sparks tu dah hilang sikit ahh. Maybe just for now. Sebab bila aku nampak kau i feel like mcm ayooo. Susah lah. Its really hard to forget someone you realllllyyyy ermm...... Tah. I dont know la. You always look amazing,no matter what you do. i mean every little things that you do. like the way you hold something the way you sit they way you smile and the way you lift up your clothes the way you dont like it when you're sweating so you will bring extra t-shirt so taht you can change the way you always stay clean. Always look amazing. bahasa inggeris aku pun dah tunggang langgang cakap pasal kau. HAHA. and sebab kau jugak lah aku pandai buat and reka ayat2 cinta. Muahaha.
Ehh,err. Tapi aku rasa macam dah hilang sikit and aku dah tak blh ah.
I think its time to let go the past :)
Aku hope boleh lah,kan.. Hope so. Cuba mesti boleh punya!
We still can be friends but mesti lah kau taknak EGO kau tu kan tinggi sangat sampai aku rasa macam errr. Ish,dahlah,takyah nak ego sangat,okay? :)
i feel like macam orang gila dah ni,.
Memang you always drive me crazy pun. -___-
And besides i have my boyfriend sekarang :)
and i love him ;D
HMM,sesuatu berlaku malam ni.
His friend texted me. See. Tiba2 je. Dah lama tetibe text pulak. I dont know lah ape plan diorang ni pulak. And your friend is doing the same old stuff -__- TALKING ABOUT YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL I FEEL LIKE WANNA PUKE. :P
dahlah tu,i dont want to hear anything bout you la. I think so. Aku rasa mcam hilang and empty dont know why. sounds like jiwang lah pulak. Tapi seriously. Dulu aku mcam happy kalau kau text even kawan kau text aku bgtahu pasal kau pun aku happy -__-
PFFT,but now. Its been 2 weeks kita dah tak text and aku rasa macam sparks tu dah hilang sikit ahh. Maybe just for now. Sebab bila aku nampak kau i feel like mcm ayooo. Susah lah. Its really hard to forget someone you realllllyyyy ermm...... Tah. I dont know la. You always look amazing,no matter what you do. i mean every little things that you do. like the way you hold something the way you sit they way you smile and the way you lift up your clothes the way you dont like it when you're sweating so you will bring extra t-shirt so taht you can change the way you always stay clean. Always look amazing. bahasa inggeris aku pun dah tunggang langgang cakap pasal kau. HAHA. and sebab kau jugak lah aku pandai buat and reka ayat2 cinta. Muahaha.
Ehh,err. Tapi aku rasa macam dah hilang sikit and aku dah tak blh ah.
I think its time to let go the past :)
Aku hope boleh lah,kan.. Hope so. Cuba mesti boleh punya!
We still can be friends but mesti lah kau taknak EGO kau tu kan tinggi sangat sampai aku rasa macam errr. Ish,dahlah,takyah nak ego sangat,okay? :)
i feel like macam orang gila dah ni,.
Memang you always drive me crazy pun. -___-
And besides i have my boyfriend sekarang :)
and i love him ;D
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Yesterday
Semalam was fun. :)
Fania,shirene,husnur,azzyati and amirah were there barbecue-ing with me :D
Haha,first2 sampai rumah makan dulu nasi yang aunty sussy masak. Yussinia's moms cook always great :D kihkihkih.
And then salin baju and all. pastu main kotak beracun pulak hahah. Fania and shirene was the 'mangsa' semalam. Asyik kena je. Luckily i kena 2 je. -.-
Around 4.30 mcm tu we all dah ready to barbeque BUT fania's dad wasnt there to help us with the fie thingy. LOL. aku tak tahu lah benda tu panggil apa so aku cakap je 'fire thingy'. Buekk. whatever it is tapi bende tu tak boleh nyala. so kitaorang dengan kepandaian dan skill masing2 yang tak berpengalaman mencuba menyalakanya. MUAHAHAHAHAA. Semua tak jadi macam apa je. Ada yang nak bakar guna kertas la apa lah. Haha,aku yang paling pandai. Aku cakap takyah ada api letak je kan ada asap boleh panas gak. HAHAHAHAHAHAH, and then yussinia mcm give me 'that face' :P
Haha,so aku pun diam and buat tak tahu je. -.-
Fania's dad came home from picking faza. Kita orang start barbecue-ing kihkhihhkhihi. :D
pastu habis around 7 something mcm tu,balahablahlahaa.
Malas lah aku nak cite lagipun aku ni mcm tak reti cite membosankan kan?
Kahkahkah. Apa2 lah. Pastu shirene and amirah yang kemas. me fania husnur and azzyaty was sitting outside and gelak2 mcm orang tak bertamadun. well i mean me and fania
-__-
sorry guys. Kitaorang gila sikit. Lol. Tapi takpa asalkan semua had fun :D
Shirene husnur and amirah balik dulu. and then azzyati's father came. balahaalhaaa.
Fania went to sleep leaving me alone. And then go back. And then malas gila nak mandi bau busuk gila. Aku terus tidur. MUAHAHAHAH :D
pagi ni baru mandi.
And thanks everyone for texting me telling that you guys had a really great time :D
Next time buat activity lain ah pulak ;D
nyinyihnyih. :D
toodles. Penat type ni.
Fania,shirene,husnur,azzyati and amirah were there barbecue-ing with me :D
Haha,first2 sampai rumah makan dulu nasi yang aunty sussy masak. Yussinia's moms cook always great :D kihkihkih.
And then salin baju and all. pastu main kotak beracun pulak hahah. Fania and shirene was the 'mangsa' semalam. Asyik kena je. Luckily i kena 2 je. -.-
Around 4.30 mcm tu we all dah ready to barbeque BUT fania's dad wasnt there to help us with the fie thingy. LOL. aku tak tahu lah benda tu panggil apa so aku cakap je 'fire thingy'. Buekk. whatever it is tapi bende tu tak boleh nyala. so kitaorang dengan kepandaian dan skill masing2 yang tak berpengalaman mencuba menyalakanya. MUAHAHAHAHAA. Semua tak jadi macam apa je. Ada yang nak bakar guna kertas la apa lah. Haha,aku yang paling pandai. Aku cakap takyah ada api letak je kan ada asap boleh panas gak. HAHAHAHAHAHAH, and then yussinia mcm give me 'that face' :P
Haha,so aku pun diam and buat tak tahu je. -.-
Fania's dad came home from picking faza. Kita orang start barbecue-ing kihkhihhkhihi. :D
pastu habis around 7 something mcm tu,balahablahlahaa.
Malas lah aku nak cite lagipun aku ni mcm tak reti cite membosankan kan?
Kahkahkah. Apa2 lah. Pastu shirene and amirah yang kemas. me fania husnur and azzyaty was sitting outside and gelak2 mcm orang tak bertamadun. well i mean me and fania
-__-
sorry guys. Kitaorang gila sikit. Lol. Tapi takpa asalkan semua had fun :D
Shirene husnur and amirah balik dulu. and then azzyati's father came. balahaalhaaa.
Fania went to sleep leaving me alone. And then go back. And then malas gila nak mandi bau busuk gila. Aku terus tidur. MUAHAHAHAH :D
pagi ni baru mandi.
And thanks everyone for texting me telling that you guys had a really great time :D
Next time buat activity lain ah pulak ;D
nyinyihnyih. :D
toodles. Penat type ni.
Sarah ;)
I love you adik ;D
actually i just had fight with her like 5 minutes ago. Heehhe :D
Then i realised that if she's not here with me,i would feel lonely because takda sape untuk aku gaduh nanti. HAHAHA.
Ingat-ingat balik rasa kelakar and menyesal sikit sebab aku tertolak die tadi. Aku bengang sangat. Tah apa2 je aku ni. Tapi adik aku dah sama tinggi ngan aku. Tak suka lahh.
Tapi takpa ahh walau apa pun aku tetap sayang dia :D kihkihkih. Tapi aku rasa sekejap je aku mcm ni dalam 20 minutes lagi aku akan jadi singa kelaparan balik. MUAHAHAHAH :D Tapi aku nak dia tahu yang i realllllllyyyyyyy love you. Haha,aku nak dia tahu tapi aku taknak bagitahu. Lagipun dia bukannya tahu pun blog aku. HAHAHA.
Tapi takpa aku kan kakak kena la tunjuk gangster sikit supaya dia kuat lawan orang2 kat lua yang kacau dia nanti. Hhahaha merepek gila aku. :D
KIHKIHKIH janji aku sayang adik aku.
Siti Sarah Bt Azahar <3<3<3
actually i just had fight with her like 5 minutes ago. Heehhe :D
Then i realised that if she's not here with me,i would feel lonely because takda sape untuk aku gaduh nanti. HAHAHA.
Ingat-ingat balik rasa kelakar and menyesal sikit sebab aku tertolak die tadi. Aku bengang sangat. Tah apa2 je aku ni. Tapi adik aku dah sama tinggi ngan aku. Tak suka lahh.
Tapi takpa ahh walau apa pun aku tetap sayang dia :D kihkihkih. Tapi aku rasa sekejap je aku mcm ni dalam 20 minutes lagi aku akan jadi singa kelaparan balik. MUAHAHAHAH :D Tapi aku nak dia tahu yang i realllllllyyyyyyy love you. Haha,aku nak dia tahu tapi aku taknak bagitahu. Lagipun dia bukannya tahu pun blog aku. HAHAHA.
Tapi takpa aku kan kakak kena la tunjuk gangster sikit supaya dia kuat lawan orang2 kat lua yang kacau dia nanti. Hhahaha merepek gila aku. :D
KIHKIHKIH janji aku sayang adik aku.
Siti Sarah Bt Azahar <3<3<3
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Im speechless,GAY!.
i feel so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM A LOOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU. FUCK THE HELL OUT OF YOU. fUCK AH kau ni. Boleh belah ah dari hidup aku,? Aku benci ah tgok kau. Aku benci tengok muka kau,tangan kau,badan kau,baju sekolah kau,cara kau jalan semua ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kau tolong ah belah dari sekolah tu aku benci semua tentang kau!!! :/ Asal ah dalam banyak2 bende nak jugak aku fikir tentang kau en. Kau ni memang bawak malang ah. **** betul ah!
Benci doh. Aku ni memang perempuan bodoh mcm nak mampus ah. Tengok je balik dah rasa apa balik. Shit ah, Kau tolong pakai baju lengan panjang boleh tak?!!! tolong ah aku tak suka tengok tangan kau aku benci!!!! Tolong ah jangan muncul kat depan aku lagi. Pleaseeeeeeeee........ Tolong ah belahhh. Aku tak suka ah!!!!. Penyibuk je en. saje je nak datang2 kat depan tu nak suruh aku tahu kau ada, Benci doh. Aku taknak dah taknak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haish,benci ah. :P
Aku benci cara kau angkat beg,aku benci cara kau suka kacau2 orang,aku benci cara kau buat senyum sinis kau tu,cara kau duduk kat kerusi,cara kau kemas buku kau,cara kau jalan2 sambil senyum cara kau duduk diam2 and pura2 tk nampak orang.!! AKU benci semua tu. Please jangan buat bende mcm tu lagi. :/
sOOoOo stupid ah aku ni. dah ah tu.
Bye. :P
Benci doh. Aku ni memang perempuan bodoh mcm nak mampus ah. Tengok je balik dah rasa apa balik. Shit ah, Kau tolong pakai baju lengan panjang boleh tak?!!! tolong ah aku tak suka tengok tangan kau aku benci!!!! Tolong ah jangan muncul kat depan aku lagi. Pleaseeeeeeeee........ Tolong ah belahhh. Aku tak suka ah!!!!. Penyibuk je en. saje je nak datang2 kat depan tu nak suruh aku tahu kau ada, Benci doh. Aku taknak dah taknak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haish,benci ah. :P
Aku benci cara kau angkat beg,aku benci cara kau suka kacau2 orang,aku benci cara kau buat senyum sinis kau tu,cara kau duduk kat kerusi,cara kau kemas buku kau,cara kau jalan2 sambil senyum cara kau duduk diam2 and pura2 tk nampak orang.!! AKU benci semua tu. Please jangan buat bende mcm tu lagi. :/
sOOoOo stupid ah aku ni. dah ah tu.
Bye. :P
Friday, October 22, 2010
Speechless.
mY nails are getting longer. erm. Tapi tk boleh makan guna tangan lah if nak bersih. I'll cut it la. Feels macam ew pulak ^.^
Schools've been fun ;) Friends are great. I think so.
From days to days years to years i keep on making mistakesss,But from al these mistakes i've learn everything about myself. Im starting to know myself better and starting to know what i want. :)
I want to do the best for myself not for anyone. I will try to do the best.
And i will start to pray again like i used to months before. Im getting lazy to pray im sorry god,please forgive me ;/ I will try to make it up again.
So i have to go now. Bye.
Chiaowww.
Schools've been fun ;) Friends are great. I think so.
From days to days years to years i keep on making mistakesss,But from al these mistakes i've learn everything about myself. Im starting to know myself better and starting to know what i want. :)
I want to do the best for myself not for anyone. I will try to do the best.
And i will start to pray again like i used to months before. Im getting lazy to pray im sorry god,please forgive me ;/ I will try to make it up again.
So i have to go now. Bye.
Chiaowww.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Breakfast.
I dont know why the tittle is 'BREAKFAST'.
There's so much happening with life. With me. Things've changed again. And again. It wont stop until the world stop spinning around that orbit.
Yesterday,
I've talked to you. But,nothing happened. Maybe you just forget about today or maybe you just forget today on purpose. :)
Nevermind,its better this way though,Finally i can find a reason not to hold on to you anymore. Not to wait anymore,not to think anymore and not to even look at you anymore ;) FINALLY RIGHT? yeah,i can stop wonder anymore. Its really hard for me at first,i dont know why i fell in love with someone like you. I mean..My friends thinks im weird to like someone like you. :P But still i dont care. Maybe sometimes we gotta listen to our friends. They just might know the best for us. Sometimes. Now,i really really i dont know what my condition is called. Its like im feeling relieved and regret at the same time. Im not sad. I just wish that we never got this far. Yeah,i wish you're dead. Got hit by a car before we even met,got bite by a dog until you die,or maybee just got expelled from school? YEAH,that would be better. You deserve that i think. So,i hope this is the end of our story. :) Evrything has an end so does our stories. ;)
Haha,i felt funny,affection maybe. Hahaha. LIFE GOES ON.
I really hope i dont see you in the way i've seen you before. I wish tommorow will be a better day. I just i dont want to look at you anymore. God give me strenght. I dont want to talk to you anymore. I want to just throw you out of my life. You're just a burden. Hell yeah. I hate you. ;p You're just wasting my time. And you are my past. And i want to throw all the things that will remind me of you and remind me how stupid i am to like someone like you. Eish,so stupid. Dahlah,bye. I hope You'll have great life and die happily. Ermm,NOO actually NOO. i hope you will get hit by a car and just die. i wish you will be sad for the rest of your life. I really wish you're dead. I wish you were lost in the jungle and die there. I wish you will have your WORST NIGHTMARE. :) Take care. byeeeeeee.
There's so much happening with life. With me. Things've changed again. And again. It wont stop until the world stop spinning around that orbit.
Yesterday,
I've talked to you. But,nothing happened. Maybe you just forget about today or maybe you just forget today on purpose. :)
Nevermind,its better this way though,Finally i can find a reason not to hold on to you anymore. Not to wait anymore,not to think anymore and not to even look at you anymore ;) FINALLY RIGHT? yeah,i can stop wonder anymore. Its really hard for me at first,i dont know why i fell in love with someone like you. I mean..My friends thinks im weird to like someone like you. :P But still i dont care. Maybe sometimes we gotta listen to our friends. They just might know the best for us. Sometimes. Now,i really really i dont know what my condition is called. Its like im feeling relieved and regret at the same time. Im not sad. I just wish that we never got this far. Yeah,i wish you're dead. Got hit by a car before we even met,got bite by a dog until you die,or maybee just got expelled from school? YEAH,that would be better. You deserve that i think. So,i hope this is the end of our story. :) Evrything has an end so does our stories. ;)
Haha,i felt funny,affection maybe. Hahaha. LIFE GOES ON.
I really hope i dont see you in the way i've seen you before. I wish tommorow will be a better day. I just i dont want to look at you anymore. God give me strenght. I dont want to talk to you anymore. I want to just throw you out of my life. You're just a burden. Hell yeah. I hate you. ;p You're just wasting my time. And you are my past. And i want to throw all the things that will remind me of you and remind me how stupid i am to like someone like you. Eish,so stupid. Dahlah,bye. I hope You'll have great life and die happily. Ermm,NOO actually NOO. i hope you will get hit by a car and just die. i wish you will be sad for the rest of your life. I really wish you're dead. I wish you were lost in the jungle and die there. I wish you will have your WORST NIGHTMARE. :) Take care. byeeeeeee.
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